Peanut Butter & Jelly… and Eggplant?!?


I eat some strange food out of necessity, and by “necessity” I mean “laziness.”

When I was 17, I lived alone for a few weeks or a month or something, and quickly ran out of food. Could I have made the 5 minute walk to Wawa to buy supplies? Sure. Instead, I melted strawberry ice cream in the microwave and added it to Special K in order to have a bowl of cereal. When that hot and nuked horror ended, I bought milk… but ran out of cereal. Goldfish crackers in a bowl of milk is no adequate substitute. Finally, at the very tail of summer with absolutely NOTHING in the house, I resorted to Wonder Bread and Aquafresh sandwiches. Effing terrible.

But I was 17, stupid, and only made enough money to get drunk. I had excuses. I am now 30, with a well-paying job and a grocery store AROUND THE CORNER. I have no more excuses for doing these kind of things. Yet here we are…

In my defense, I don’t even eat bread anymore. Empty calories and what I like to call intentional carbs. I eat ALOT during the day, but I burn everything off because I am a fitness fanatic and marathoner. Everything you consume has carbs, so why go out of your way to eat something specifically designed to be carb-centric? Right? Trust me, it makes sense in my world and my gypsy girlfriend the yoga instructor thinks I have good abs, so that’s all the validation I need.

(Despite my stance against intentional carbs, it is no secret I am the master of time and space and marshmallows when it comes to cereal.)

So long story medium: no bread. But I LOVE peanut butter and jelly. What’s a guy to do? Usually, I put it on some leaf lettuce, but I didn’t have that. So I… well, it’s better if you see it:

Yup, that’s a slice of raw eggplant.

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