Hartford Whalers

The Hartford Whalers were the clear-cut winner of last week’s inaugural Foogo vote, garnering 50% of all tallies. Since I started the poll, I had vague ideas of the ingredients I’d use if any of the three options (the Whale, ‘Nucks or Leafs) emerged victorious, but nothing was set in stone. Once I knew the subject, the next goal was to get the goods. My original concept was nothing like what actually emerged from this Foogo, though. An early afternoon trip to Trader Joe’s secured the supplies, totally to $11.56, although that could have been $7.77, because I ended up not using one of the seedless grapes bundles.


3/4 bag of Trader Joe’s Baby Spinach Salad ($1.99)

1 16 oz Trader Joe’s Non-Fat Cottage Cheese tub ($1.99)

1 20 oz container seedless green grapes ($3.79)


This was a royal pain in the ass. For one, working with leafy greens is tough. I wanted to have a very green base, so before laying out the grapes, I set out a bed of spinach as the canvas. I don’t know why, but I thought workign with spinach would be like working with paper.

It ain’t. Stems, folds, awkward shapes, it all culminated in a puffy, unwieldy beast. So I smashed a lot of spinach leaves into submission.

The next step was to add the grapes. Already running into some minor issues in the past with round ingredients (such as the currently unblogged creation of the Chicago Blackhawks secondary logo using turkey cheddar dogs), I knew these grapes weren’t gonna cut the mustard. So I cut the grapes. And again. And again. Geez, I really diced them the hell up. In the end, I probably tripled, maybe quadrupled, the area each individual grape covered.

It was a painstaking process (90 minutes or so), but I knew once the exterior of the logo was set in place, the final piece would be a cake walk.

And it was.

I forked out almost an entire tub of cottage cheese into the remaining space to fill out the “W” and whale’s tail.


  • After reading and hearing comments and compliments about the Foogos, its always been music to my ears when someone would tell me how disturbing it was to stare at Food X and Ingredient Y in such massive quantities. That inspired me. The grosser, the better. From the moment I made that connection, cottage cheese bought itself a prominent spot in a Foogo. I just needed to figure out when to use it.
  • Like I said, the grapes needed to be sliced to work in this. That was mostly a logistic choice. But the wet, fleshy interior couldn’t hurt the nasty, gross-out factor. I left them soaking in a bowl of water before adding them to the artwork.
  • I ended up with a decent salad, ate some of it, and shoveled the rest back into the empty cottage cheese tub.

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Half-artist, half-fish, half-monkey, the Mojo has defied logic, gravity and superiors in four different decades! This is his life, unfiltered, unrefined, underwear.

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