July 13, huh?

I’m not a fan of the Family Guy, and if you’ve ever seen the episode of South Park where Cartman tears the Seth MacFarlane show apart, you’ll have my exact opinion of Family Guy.

But it’s not to say on the incredibly rare occasion I do watch Family Guy I don’t laugh. The show is definitely funny; like Matt Stone, Trey Parker, and everyone who has ever been a Simpsons fan first, I just find the humor forced into the moment (and usually unrelated to anything I’m watching).

Ted is basically a looooooooong, live action version of Family Guy with more swearing. MacFarlane’s trademark flashbacks, asides, odd celebrity guest stars and name drops, and even insanely prolonged fight scene all eat up minutes. But I was entertained throughout, and laughed out loud – guffaws, really – more times than I can count.

I found myself wishing the previews didn’t waste John’s (Mark Wahlberg) amazing white trash name game with his foul-mouthed bear, but even that scene was funny after the 30th time I saw it. Ted. Is. Funny.

It started slowly for me; the opening scene was just too much exposition, but then things picked up, especially since I am a HUGE Flash Gordon fan, and apparently, so are the main characters. MacFarlane’s other trope, the 80s pop culture reference, is predominantly owned by the legendary B-movie and its lead, played by Sam Jones, who appears in Ted as himself. (Based on WHY Flash Gordon is a cult classic, it’s probable Jones actually is playing himself.)

The jokes are raunchy. The story, although predictable and so very formulaic, moves briskly. Mila Kunis is hot. And FLASH GORDON appears!!! (That should have been in the previews.) I guess my only disappointment is that at no point in the film did I hear, “Gordon’s alive?!?” I thought that was a shoo-in reference.

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Half-artist, half-fish, half-monkey, the Mojo has defied logic, gravity and superiors in four different decades! This is his life, unfiltered, unrefined, underwear.

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