I hate hate hate hate hate Sidney Crosby.
And it’s not even because I’m jealous of his success or he’s so good or blah blah blah.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely (and annoyingly) mythic to miss ten months, then come back and drop 4 points in your return. It’s unreal to be The Man with the Golden Gun and score the gold medal-winning overtime goal at the 2010 Olympics. I was about 12 rows off the ice and witnessed that first hand. After every blessed thing that already happened in 87′s career to that point, it was unbelievable. In the I-just-threw-up-in-my-mouth-a-little sense of the word, but unbelievable nonetheless. He’s a got a Cup, at least one MVP trophy (I don’t have to stomach to actually fact check that) and a bread endorsement:
I guess I’m a little envious, but more than that, I respect the hell out of his determination. And Dempster’s whole grain bread. Tell me that’s not the most appropriate endorsement ever. The public personas of both loaf and player are so similar, it’s hard to tell which is which.
Anyway, none of those things are what sour me on the Cros.
It’s the NHL.
How many players did the league dump all over when they cast EVERYONE aside in 2006 to push Crosby down everyone’s throat? (That’s one’a them trick questions.)
Every NHL fan outside of Pittsburgh feels your pain, Jan Brady.
On the other side of the coin, I’m not sure Crosby is as much of a whiner as everyone makes him out to be. I’m super competitive about everything I do, too, and I’m a really sore loser. (For starters, nobody poops or drinks milk better then me. I am the Jarome Iginla of both those non-Olympic events.) I empathize with that. But still, it’s funny to recreate the NHL’s John Cena from Gerber baby food, and honestly, it’s all in good fun. I think The Kid himself would be able to find some humor in this. It’s not like that idea I scrapped to make a PETA logo out of General Tso’s chicken (aka dog).
Squash, prune & apple baby food
THE COLORS
Black: prunes (surprisingly delicious)
Gold: squash (Surprisingly horrific… do not give this to your babies)
White/cream: bananas with apples and pears (unsurprisingly enjoyable)
THE CALORIES
Prunes with apples: 70 (2x)
Squash: 25
Bananas with apples & pears: 80 (2x)
TOTAL: 325
PRICE
$2.09 each (Is this expensive? I don’t have any children here in the US, so I’ve never had to buy this stuff before.)
TOTAL: $6.27
Tomorrow, I’ll share the “DVD extras” images from this bad boy, and later in the week, I’ve still got a Providence Bruins Foogos to share.