You’re Soy Ven…om

Congratulations, self. You just executed the worst pun ever. It’s a riff on Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain,” which, for some reason, always reminds me of these summer parties my dad used to throw for everyone he worked with. I really have no explanation for any of this other than the fact that it’s 1:07 AM as I write this from work on Thursday night/Friday morning.

I knew going into the work day that it would be a long night, so I stopped off at Food Emporium for Snack Packs. I settled for this weird, CHEAP soy pudding with a panda graphic on the label. After sampling the merchandise, it’s no surprise why Jell-O was more expensive. (Keep in mind that Jell-O is nothing more than a small box of dust and sugar.)

Anyway, It was with one chocolate and one vanilla cup that I made this Venom logo:The consistency was thick and lumpy, which made it difficult to work with. I really could have used some pudding thinner. Newman’s Own makes that, don’t they? Whatever the case, for a messy pudding project in the middle of “serious work” at my desk, I’m okay with this.

For those of you unfamiliar with Venom, he is a Marvel Comics anti-hero, originally a Spider-Man foil, created by Todd McFarlane, who went on to make a bajillion dollars thanks after he created Spawn, a character that shared Venom’s violent methods and a symbiotic suit. (McFarlane has recently lent his creative genius into creating Haunt, yet another anti-hero in a symbiotic suit that squirts Spider-Manish web-like goop. Haunt is actually a decent comic, but it’s amazing that McFarlane hasn’t been called out for being a one-trick pony. I guess everyone is too busy playing with their toys to notice.)

Back to Venom. The original villain was portrayed by Eddie Brock, a journalist who blamed his ruined career on Spider-Man. He came into contact with the alien symbiote Spidey rejected (the black costume). The two bonded – literally and otherwise – over their hatred for Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Eventually, Brock became a good guy, then gave up the super-powers gig altogether when he found out he was dying of cancer.(He would later return as Anti-Venom.)

Meanwhile, Mac Gargan, a two-bit loser best known for getting his ass kicked by the wall-crawler as Scorpion, took the symbiote for himself to become the new Venom, where he masqueraded as a hero in the so-called Dark Avengers, run by Norman Osborn. When he wasn’t out “saving” the world, Venom II was busy eating people or being heavily sedated.

The US government forcibly separated Gargan from the symbiote and determined that prolonged exposure to the alien organism resulted in gout… I mean psychosis. (This also happens from overeating sushi.) The military now employs the symbiote as a super soldier, attaching it to an individual for temporary periods. The current incarnation of Venom is former army guy and Peter Parker friend, Flash Thompson. You can follow along with his adventures, in which he becomes increasingly loony, in Marvel’s  monthly Venom series.